Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
