yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
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