Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
Randomize
