just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
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