I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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