my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
