I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
Randomize
