So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Randomize
