Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
You're a waste of cheezeits
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
