I CAN MOONWALK!
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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