dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
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