Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Randomize
