Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize