It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
Randomize
