omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
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