Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
