After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
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