i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
23 Proposal Horror Stories You Won’t Believe
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.