i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
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I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
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he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
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