He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
These 19 People Are Into The Grossest Sex Fetishes
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
People Weigh In On Whether It’s Okay to Bang Your Roommate
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.