I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Randomize
