If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
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