Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
