no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
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