i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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