Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize