We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
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