well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
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