I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
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And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
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Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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