the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
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I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
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