He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
bring money and cleavage
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Randomize
