Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
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