I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
