To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
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