Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize
