All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
