If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
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