I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize