you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
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