She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I would fuck him just for his dog
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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