woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Randomize