You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Randomize
