I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Randomize
