bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Randomize
