Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
Randomize
