dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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