I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
My breath smells like gin and sadness
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