I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
He? As in you personified your dick?
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
