i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
