wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
Reggie can tackle my bush.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
