My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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