??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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