I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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