This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
