Kiss
Puke
She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
