I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Randomize
