How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
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