He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
