Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Randomize
