You just made me feel so damn special
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
Randomize
