I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
im calling her cock vulture from now on
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
Randomize
