I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
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