Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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